You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
bring money and cleavage
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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