haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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