I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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