Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
