Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
