I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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