We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
