She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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