I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
