Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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