i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize