Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
