...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
