Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she smelled like a LAN party
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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