So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
