Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Say something about gay babies.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
