You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize