There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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