I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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