She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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