this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
