So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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