I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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