used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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