Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
