Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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