Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
