I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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