Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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