Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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