She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
that is very illegal...i love you.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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