ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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