She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
