I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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