I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
