last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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