i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
