If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
