oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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