shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
