I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
