just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
