I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
