I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
