I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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