he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
