Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I party with great urgency now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
