I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
