i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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