on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
