You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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