If i come over, it means nothing
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
he had hair everywhere except his balls
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
