Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
