dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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