You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
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