Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
