We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
