I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
