YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
