8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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